Christmas Jokes 2017:- What a pleasurable morning it is to wake with giggles and a wide smile on your face. And if winter season is going on then there’s nothing comparable than those warm laughters in the bed. Yes am talking about the laughters of Christmas which induce in you by those Christmas Jokes sent by your friends amid the last night. The chilling weather and the warm Merry Christmas Jokes, what a combination it is.
- What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause!
- What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school? Present.
- Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
- Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?
Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe.
- Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
- Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
- What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
- What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
- What did Mary Poppins want from Santa?
- I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace”
So I bought her nothing.
- There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box
containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
- One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”
- What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song?
All I Want For Christmas is EU.
- What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump?
Nothing, they’re both a little orange
Adult Christmas Jokes:-
To make your festival and the holidays delighted, we have for you, the all new collection of Funny Christmas Jokes worth sending to friends, family and relatives. Christmas Jokes do a work of adding fragrance in the aura of festival and the chilling season. If not cursed a friend, or didn’t pull the leg of a member of the circle, the day of holiday season is worthless. What special you done in holidays if not composed the witty Christmas Jokes on your friends. Do make them and share in your friend’s group to pull their leg and give everyone that stomach-aching smile. If not so creative, then take help of these Funny Christmas Jokes 2017 and rewrite them to add in the sarcasm.
Why was Santa upset when he got a sweater for Christmas?
Because he was hoping for a screamer or moaner.
Why does Santa go through the chimney?
Coz Mrs. Claus told him he’d never get in the back door.
Why does Santa land on the roof?
Cause he likes it on the top.
What is Santa’s motto?
Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.
Why doesn’t Santa have any kids of his own?
Because he only comes only once a year, and it’s down the chimney.
Christmas Jokes 2017:-
Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street.
What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just ornamental.
Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why did the Snowman want a divorce?
Because his wife was a total flake.
Christmas Santa Jokes:-
Christmas Jokes 2017 – Christmas is different for different age group. For kids it’s the off from school, for teenagers and adults, it’s the naughty season. Make love this Christmas season and be naughty with your other half with these Adult Merry Christmas Jokes. Gathered here are the best Adult Christmas Jokes, to be shared with the partners to give them the wet feelings.
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.
Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store?
He was desperate for some holiday spirit.
Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?
Cause she married to a guy who comes once a year.
Merry Christmas Jokes 2017:-
How does Santa stay STD free?
He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.
What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you.
I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come…
Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…
Can I visit between the holidays?
Christmas Jokes For Adults:-
Christmas Jokes 2017 – Christmas is all about fun, laughter and joy, then make it so with the help of our grand collection of Christmas Jokes. Get the endless variety of Funny Christmas Jokes, Christmas Santa Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Christmas Jokes for adult in huge numbers to share with all and make this season worth calling celebration season.